michelle's journal.

Writer's Block: Book review

2009-11-18T15:53:38Z

What (if any) books would you ban from a high school library? Are there certain subjects that you feel are inappropriate for teenagers regardless of literary merit?

View 1462 Answers

By all means, ban whatever book you want. It will result in at least double the amount of people reading it. I find it saddening so many people thought "Twilight" was a witty answer to this.

harbourlights @ 2009-09-23T14:37:00

2009-09-23T21:51:21Z

long time no LJ. cannot possibly begin to summarize all that has happened (can, actually.. should not). End of summer was fairly awesome. Camping in Medicine Hat which of course got me deeper into this pool of ridiculousness out of which I have yet to climb, my heart is a fucking venus flytrap. I did not expect to miss Dexter as much as I do. I'm not even going to be vague about that right now. Anyway... excellent time, speaking in questions and sticking googly eyes on everything with Savannah, one second Chris, uneaten cans of alphagetti, glowsticks, heartswells, surprising conversations inside of 2 person tents.

Somewhere in there was a trip or two to Saskatoon, my brother came to Moose Jaw. Summerfest was on August 28th and was an amazing success. Who knew I could go from being painfully shy to coating faces in paint? Movin' on up in the world. Savannah and Kyle came down right before I moved, so it was bar time, McDonald's fries on the kitchen floor. Spent my last night in Moose Jaw with Skyler, Darryl and Rae, caesars on special and too much weed.

Two day trip to the Island, stopover in Nelson, BC. Drugged out on travel sickness meds, mountains, lakes and rivers making steady appearances between bouts of unconsciousness. A late-night ferry over the lake, moon on the water, couldn't ask for anything more beautiful. Moved into my dorm on September 4. I have three roommates: Carlin, Elora and Trevor. I have listed their names in order from favourite to least favourite but I still feel awkward around all of them. And actually that's not fair, Trevor seems like a great guy but we have not had a conversation that has lasted more than 4 minutes or so. Went to Vancouver a few weekends ago to hang out with Rachel, drank a bit of wine and went out for sushi with Victor the next day. I came to the conclusion I don't really like Vancouver because it is much too big and inconvenient for me, but it has its merits. I mean, i like buses, but not full ones. You know how it is. Found out Dan from high school moved out here too so I have been seeing a bit of him but not too much. Our last encounter was excessively awkward so i don't know what will happen with that, but he is a good person and I enjoy his company. Rachel came out here last weekend. Drank too much and passed out on my floor? Good ol' Rachel. Good times with my siblings, as well.

I am still getting used to being in a science program.. honestly I am too used to slacking in classes and it is really detrimental to my success. I failed a calculus quiz on Monday, botched a Chem lab and didn't do so hot on a Chemistry quiz yesterday, but I am determined to get my shit together.

vague recollection of past and current events

2009-07-19T10:23:16Z

Lookin' up. Saskatoon last Friday. Backyard beer, fire, great people, old cartoons and a snoring angel. Napped on the way back, made Kevin buy something to improve his breath. Impromptu trip to Medicine Hat on Sunday, video games with Dexter and Justin, 11 adorable kittens. Real great jamming in a cramped garage, limited seating, "Hey, these guys have just been smoking DOPE!", beer gut in shorts, handsome boy with the lowest IQ I have ever come across "Wait, a potato had eyes?! Are you serious!" "What the fuck is a human egg, man?". Ridiculously drawn out McDonald's drive thru experience. Ham and swiss, the return of the most beautiful person I know, pipes with unknown origins and conversations about the bottom of the sea and about outer space, keeping intense eye contact while wishing to make more contact. Good times with my sister, great hugs, nuzzling, tuggin' at my heartstrings wanting to stay forever. Back to Moose Jaw on Tuesday, feelin' real depressed about it.

Good dinner date with Megan on Thursday, knife theft, the best burger I have ever eaten, Mapquest being a filthy liar in regards to the whereabouts of Chili's, long drive all the way down Vic. Shitty tacky Old Navy, cutest boston terriers at Petland, pitstop at the mall, giant tiger and the LB.

Friday: curdled Baja Rosa jello shooters, beer on the deck. Mike n Ikes squished between the wood. Arrival of Savannah, Kyle and Kayla. Drew, for the first time in a year, real bad hair, overall unappealing? Half-drunk, going to find Savannah lying in the street a block away. My neighbour puked all over my couch and floor. Gaggin' real hard while cleaning that shit up. Inopportune time to have eaten a junior chicken. Kevin Taylor real drunk and mad. Party ended too early. Hangin' with Paris on the couch, obtaining 10 dollars for my booze fund.

Today: John Dale's surprise arrival. Grumpy trip to Smitty's for bacon and eggs. Cleaning my house. Somehow the carpet is still covered in Spitz. Slurpees, unsuccessful attempt to return Drew's sunglasses because I don't remember what his house looks like. Random trip to Buffalo Pound. Real huge disgusting fish floating in the lake. Rolled up jeans. Said I was going to pick the fish up but it was rotting and smelled terrible. Sat under a big tree, making myself a hair beard, twig up the nose, being all-around retarded, well-documented. Swingset, the yellow bird that I've been waiting for, lost hair ties, dying of heat exhaustion on the ride home.

Unsatisfying nap, delicious Burger Cabin c/o Savannah-Mae (I am good at living while unemployed apparently), a shiny blue Vex. Dressing Kevin up as a hipster. Drinking in the back of Kevin's truck in front of my house for over five hours, singing at the top of my lungs (playlist: Christmas carols, Paparazzi - Lady Gaga, Day n Nite - Kid CuDi, Sesame Street theme song), spilled drinks, spitz shells all over the truck and sidewalk, a million and one pictures. Danny sat on broken glass. Mad sister, cold cheeks, coolers, too much noise. Moved it indoors, snoring angel v 2.0, making him hold a hot dog, more pictures. Real loud noises, angry text, an excessive number of Tweets, hot dog drink, laughing until I could not breathe at all.

Good times. 2 weeks until Savannah pops her AB cherry and I get to be a real tourist in Medicine Hat. I can't wait to see everybody again.

harbourlights @ 2009-06-23T16:56:00

2009-06-23T22:04:16Z

So.. what has been going on lately? For the most part my life has been pretty uneventful. I interviewed for jobs at the WDM and the Art Gallery and got rejected so that was really great for my self esteem, the art gallery lady said she was "very impressed" with me but they hired some jerk that volunteers there, go figure. Jordan's birthday weekend we all went to Medicine Hat, reunited with Chris, hung out at some bars. Justin had a fire at his ranch and actually hung out which was great, everyone from MJ ended up going to the bar and I stayed and hung out, had some convos, felt pretty happy, I really love those people. Spent the following week wallowing in my own self-pity and hanging out alone in my bedroom, even moreso after I got rejected from that job on the Wednesday, so that week.. which I guess was last week, was pretty much just a writeoff. Hung out with Megan one night for BPs and late night drives to the Base, spilling pen ink everywhere in her mom's car.

Savannah et al. came on Saturday which was super awesome, Burger Cabin, backyard fire, thunderstorms, what a great mix. I got high and didn't much feel like socializing so I just hung around on the couch until finally going to bed at like 4 in the morning, I don't really even like smoking pot all that much I'm not sure why I decided to do it that day? All in all it was an okay time, how could it not be with the SMP? had some great pizza. Spent some time dwelling on a stupid new(ish) crush. I wonder if there will ever be a moment where I am not pining after some random guy? pathetic.

Haven't done much this week. Applied for a filing job in a medical clinic today, hope to hear back. Recycled some bottles, 45 bucks in my pocket. I don't have any plans for the rest of the week. I cancelled my tattoo appointment. Applied for student loans yesterday and they said I can get up to like 9500 which is super great. I think my sister's grad banquet is probably this week. Guess I'm going to that.

That is all?

harbourlights @ 2009-06-05T18:53:00

2009-06-06T00:58:52Z

So I was napping and having this great dream where I was just sittin' on a couch hanging out with Hugh Laurie (aka the best dream ever, because who wouldn't want to sit next to Dr. House on a couch?) and all of a sudden I felt someone rubbing my arm so I was like, oh my god, you know, Hugh Laurie is making physical contact with my shoulder and then someone asked if I was okay, and the arm rubbing continued, so I slowly came out of dream world and was like ahh, fuck, see ya later Hugh Laurie. So I was awake, and gone from my great peaceful dream, and my mom was rubbing my shoulder? And for some reason it was really hard for me to just say, "what are you doing in here?" and she was like, "dinner will be a little later" so like.. great, you know, I was napping, hanging out with Dr. House, thanks for the update. Then she asked where I got a bunch of random shit in my room? And I went back to sleep, hoping to return to my cozy couch. Alas, it was not to be. But the most irritating part of this dream is that none of it even happened, my mom waking me up was just a dream waking me up from another dream. THE ARM RUBBING FELT SO REAL? Weirdest, most annoying dream ever.

harbourlights @ 2009-05-28T14:11:00

2009-05-28T19:15:59Z

Day 18 of being unemployed. It boggles my mind that I can be completely qualified for a job and never even get an interview. I was feeling optimistic about this second position at WDM and was in contact with the lady in charge, then she called my house and I missed it (of course nobody ever calls my cell phone), I called back and left a message and it's been two days since I've heard anything. God, I have 2 years of university under my belt and museum experience and I don't even get an interview? I have been applying for summer student jobs and have not heard anything. I don't want a fucking part time job that pays 9 25 an hour, seriously. I need to save up for school. I wish I could just skip this summer and go back to BC.

harbourlights @ 2009-05-13T12:03:00

2009-05-13T17:07:07Z

I can't get this shitty unsatisfied feeling out of my bones. It is retarded to feel sad when nothing in my life is even going wrong? I am done school tomorrow, I applied for my dreeeam summer job on Sunday night, and Megan and I are goin' to Saskatoon soon! What else do I even want? I am such an iiidiot

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

2009-05-06T16:04:42Z

So right now I am listening to 3oh3! on my own volition for the first time, and needless to say I feel like a huge loser. I feel like I am 14 or something. I should go backcomb my hair and get some hair bows or some shit. I have a really lame cough today, my throat is so itchy and I cough and then if I breathe in too deep it hurts... I'm going to die of swine flu y/y?

Yesterday I wrote my physics final and holy shit was it terrible. I am not feeling at all confident that I even passed it, to be honest. If I failed it, I fail the entire class, so pretty much I am just stressin' out about it but I'm lurking the netz in an effort to get my mind off it, I guess. I really hope I don't fail physics oh god. My mom would kill me?!

Tonight is Rah Rah/Mt Royal in Regina! I am super stoked. It will be nice to see those Medicine Hat boys. It will also be nice to have sweet quality bff time with Megan! Tomorrow I am planning on bustin' my ass reading up on Electrochemistry and then signing up for the test aaand my chem final. That is all I have left to do! Unless of course I failed that physics final in which case I'm sure I will have to challenge it in the summer, kms.

Someone is actually looking at my house today, thank god. Just fuckin' buy it, already.
I want to go to Saskatoon.

i told you to be balanced, but i told you to be kind

2009-04-30T16:45:05Z

finished c30. i hope i did well on the final, i need at least a 70 on that exam to make a 75 average for uni courses! here's to hopin'. leavin' out all capitals. this afternoon is dedicated to physics and chem labs. two weeks after this week to finish a chem test and the final and my physics final. doable? yes. will i do well? maybe. maybe not on electrochem, since i haven't started it yet. oh well. everything is done so soon! not too sure what i am going to do with all that free time. hopefully i find a sweet job. wish it was may 6.

harbourlights @ 2009-04-28T21:57:00

2009-04-29T03:04:39Z

I have just been having a great few weeks. Finishin' up chem labs, getting shit done, quitting my job! Loaded up on some great snacks tonight, booked my tattoo (can't get in til June 2! but time will fly on by), had a super awesome burger at Humpty's, spent time with the besty, my little sister is finally actually dating Danny (one step closer to being my actual little brother? haha), I am finally over feelings I had for so long! I am so stoked on feeling completely platonic toward everyone I know. It is about time I stopped being hung up on stupid things like that. I am not, and never will be a relationship person and I need to stop obsessing about how I should be. Get to see Thomas, Jonathan and Dexter at the Rah Rah tour kickoff next week. Saskatoon trip soon with Megan Weiss, my income tax is coming soon, possible movin' to MH? God, everything is so good. School is stressful but almost OVER! Math exam this Thursday. Pray for me, haha.

PS - soundtrack to this amazing time: Weakerthans, Say Hi (to your mom), Bon Iver and the new Manchester Orchestra album! Check that shit out!

harbourlights @ 2009-04-27T10:46:00

2009-04-27T17:00:53Z

Real decent weekend. Friday decided to be a mass slacker retard/skip school and work. Went to Regina for sushi with Danny, Megan and Jordan. Came home&bought booze. Meg and I started drinking while Danny went to the hospital to see his new baby sister (!). Ended up being drunk by about 6 or 7. Kevin Taylor joined us and then left to go to a movie with the girlfriend he really doesn't like. Erin came by with Vex. Josie came! Ordered pizza and ate it in about 5 seconds. Lurked FB and found out Mt. Royal is coming to Regina May 6 (w/Jonathan and Dexter!). Excited! Kevin came back around 12. I went to bed ~12:20 & woke up real early to go to work. Stressful annoying breakfast shift. Put in my two weeks' notice! Last day is May 10. I am extremely stoked about this.
Came home and cleaned the house. Some people came by for a showing. Stayed about 5 minutes. Slept real late and went to Smitty's with Jordan - tasty burger! Watched "The Big Tease" aka best movie ever, ft. Craig Ferguson as a gay hairdresser? How can that not be awesome? Text from Skyler around 8. Took whatever booze I could find in my house and took a cab to his house. Drank Colt 45 out of a coca-cola cup on his couch while he sat on his coffee table. Conversations about mushrooms, we are skids. Darryl came over. They got baked and I wrote tweets that never showed up. "Champagne! Not to be mistaken for real pain." "...Not to be mistaken for House of Pain.". Listened to their sketch comedy ideas. Walked to Bobby's around 12 30. Hung around with Craig's mom for a bit. "Darryl is pretty cute, hey? Don't tell Jessica about this!". Skyler bought a pitcher of Keith's and we sat at a table and listened to this sweet Jamaican band play. Watched a Jamaican lady flirt with a rank guy in a muscle shirt complete w/ tight curly mullet, moustache and tight jeans. Megan showed up with KTay. Waved at Dakota. Drank beer and felt real good. Went over to talk to Darryl and Dylan - "Long live Trinidad!". Left with Megan and Kevin. Pita and Bueno from 7-11. More beer at home. Loud baby noises at the kitchen table. Fell asleep to One Hour Photo, woke up crowded and switched to my mom's bed.
Grabbed some A&W after Megan and Kevin left. Decided to have a nap. Woke up seven minutes before work! Freaked out. Got ready in two seconds and was out the door. Jordan met me partway and drove me to work. Ended up only being around five minutes late. Lucky for me none of the bitchy cooks were working. Awkward shift. No one was jokin' around. Faerouz's bad mood rubbed off on everyone. Went home and hung out with Erin for a bit. Watched some Kenny Vs. Spenny and was a superstar at her psych homework. Made kool-aid and chocolate cake in a mug. Watched more KvsS with my sister and then by myself.

Glad I don't work today. I'm going to go home and have a great nap. Now I should prob learn some Chem.

harbourlights @ 2009-04-23T10:06:00

2009-04-23T16:14:59Z

Physics test. I think I did fine. All that's left are finals&labs. Stoked on everything winding down, finally. Big chem lab today, hope I don't spill any acid. Thinking of doing math&physics finals next week. Can I really be done?! Feels like I've been here for years. Technically this time I'm using is math time. Why do math when you can do LJ? Biggest slacker known to man.

Hot yesterday. Backs of my legs burned walkin' home. The sun was boiling the denim. Picked up my paycheque&had a quick nap, sat on the air conditioner outside playing DS while a real estate agent led strangers around my house. Hope it sells soon. I need to know where I'm living this summer! Medicine Hat would be an experience. Real estate agent said she'd buy us beer&pizza if the house sold quickly. Most unhealthy supper ever (pizza, KD), studied physics until one in the morning, periodically stopping to reposition my cat (plz no paws on my books), to lurk and to get a drink. My head is full of nuclear physics. You want to know about CANDU reactors? Worst class, ever.

It is cold out today. Snowin' in Alberta. Fuck off? Going out for lunch with my sister. Can't help but spend money right when I get it. I will never have enough money to do anything. Need a new job.

i lost it all; my clothes smell like the city

2009-04-22T17:00:21Z

Great Lake Swimmers on imeem, SIAST library. 64% on a math test, 3.5 weeks to finish everything off. Weakerthans last night. Did not play This is a Fire Door Never Leave Open, but actually just kidding! epic four song encore, Fire Door was second to last (second to none). Made eye contact with John K. Samson, once. He looks like the happiest guy. The Weakerthans can do no wrong. Wish I could see 'em again tonight. Everyone was talking through the opening act. Thought that was real rude. Have some respect?

Mushrooms on 420. Ventured to a soccer field in the dark with red shoes on. Sat on bleachers with Danny and Woodland Danny, aka Ryan. Had a lot of good feelings and a strong distaste for cellular phones and obnoxious outdoor lighting. Had the best shower of my life at 4 AM and woke up tired as fuck.

Last night when I got home from Regina I have messages from five different people. Made me feel good! No one ever talks to me. Had a chat with Dexter. He is going across Canada with Mount Royal this summer. I am jealous. Had this irrational wish that he wasn't going to be gone for so long? Not sure what that is about, not like I would see him anyway. Feel like Dustin is finally fading into the mist. Head is finally winning over heart! Thank god. 'Course now I'm going to start always thinking about somebody else, but at least it will be someone different.

Started listenin' to Sailor Tattoos by the Movielife. I miss this song?

harbourlights @ 2009-04-20T11:03:00

2009-04-20T17:30:43Z

Feel like it is about time for an update.

My end date for school is in two weeks. I have a test and a final left in each of my classes, and a few labs. I might go a few days over, but it shouldn't be too bad. Currently I am taking a break from studying chem. I am writing a math test this afternoon. I'm not ready for it, really, but I just want to get er dun, you know what I mean.

Easter break was super sweet. I had a surprise party at my house for Megan's birthday on the 10th. She was actually surprised, it ruled. Savannah and Corey even came down for it, and brought Joelyn, Nick and Dustyn with them. Got real drunk and had a super time. I went out with John Dale to get decorations and he was like... ultra irritating. Seriously.

Jordan and I went to Medicine Hat on the 12th. I went to Justin's for about an hour and a half, until his girlfriend made us leave. Saw Dustin and Glen, briefly. On the 13th I went to Strathcona park with Jordan and Rachel and hung out for a bit before being joined by Dexter, who has transformed out of his "awkward and annoying" stage some time since I last saw him, which is nice. Later on Jordan went to hang out with some other people so Dexter, Rachel and Tom came to the hotel and we drank on hotel beds and watched Paul Blart (worst movie ever?) and that western movie where Leonardo DiCaprio and Sharon Stone look exactly the same? We tried to get ahold of Dustin like eight times but he didn't answer his phone. Left him a drunk FB comment from my phone telling him to call me the next day.

Left MH around 2 on Monday. Called in to work. Got home, napped and watched movies. Dustin called at like 9 PM. Missed it. Went over to Megan's at like midnight. Funniest Tim Horton's drive-thru experience ever. "Well do you make yogurt and berries after ten?!" *drops Timcard out the window* "Peace OOOOUUUUT!". Played Mario Kart on Wii until 4 in the morning and fell asleep watching House. Woke up at 4 PM and had bbq in Megan's kitchen. Spent the night hanging out with Jordan and Danny. "Pringles good."

Wednesday I mainly just felt real excited for Thursday and walked to work in the most retarded wind/rain combo ever. I had an umbrella. I felt weird about that.

Thursday I went and signed some tax forms and dropped off a resume at the WDM and then Savannah and Kyle got to town. We went to Boston Pizza with Megan and then went to get booze. Drinks at my house. Paris came over and we all went to the show, which was actually just really long and pretty boring. Left with SMP and Kyle/Paris just before the show ended. Paris dropped us off. Laughed real hard while eating McDonald's at my kitchen table. Did not party.

Friday I went to Regina for sushi with Kyle, SMP, Jordan and Danny. Savannah ate a burger. Then we came back and prepared for the big party (Craig's bday!). It was nuts. More people came than expected. My mom shut herself in her office the whole time. Corey, Joelyn, Nick and Dustyn came from Saskatoon. Bronson showed up and that was sort of awkward because i never met him before. He has a creepy accent and is an all-around creepy dude. Logan and Dustin got too drunk and puked in my kitchen sink (and both bathrooms in Logan's case). Someone spilled water near my computer and now my monitor is fucked. Spent much of the night talking to either Nick or Bronson. Bronson was mad that he wasn't allowed in Jordan's room and said he was going to tear Danny's larynx out? Drunk me got worried and cried at my party, you know, no big deal. God. Kale was bein' a real biig creeper. Bunch of random guys showed up throughout the night. Got pretend mad at John Dale and told him I wasn't going to talk to him for 2 weeks, so he ended up staring at me with a sad face for like .. hours. So lame?! Now I really won't talk to him. Everyone started passing out around like 4 AM. Went and got McDonald's. Came home to Bronson outside with a beer saying he was walking to the store with Nick. Did not happen. Passed out with that same beer in his hand on my couch. He looked dead. I made Megan check his pulse?

Paragraph break. I went to bed (finally) around 5:30 and Savannah came in my room and was like "you need to come downstairs Danny is crying and I don't know what to do about it" so I was like fuuuuuuck and went and hung out with his drunk ass until around seven in the morning. He was rapping along to his music and dancing in the kitchen, drinking Jagermeister. Suggested we drink all day. I was not having any of that. I went to bed and he came into my room and closed my blinds, haha. "Time to sleep, love you Moshy".

Woke up at around 11. Bronson was gone. So was Shanda. Nick was missing. The Saskatooners went and looked for him to no avail. His phone was at my house. His dad called it and told Corey that Nick passed out in a ditch trying to walk back to Saskatoon and the cops took him to the hospital for drug tests. So messed up? His mom came from Saskatoon to get him. His dad thought one of us drugged him. We did not! Everyone left and I spent the afternoon cleaning and hanging out with Danny.

Worked at 8 AM yesterday. Came home and slept and then went to try to get into a clinic because I have a stupid ear infection but everywhere was closed or full. Went shopping with Megan and dropped 130 dollars and shitty DVDs and shoes and finally got a new DS charger. Stoked. Hung out at the house and then got snacks and watched Hellraiser with Megan, Jordan and Danny. Watched the rankest episode of Kink ever. Want to squirt?

I hope you have enjoyed the condensed version of the last week and a half of my life. Jesus.

harbourlights @ 2009-04-02T10:41:00

2009-04-02T16:53:46Z

Well March was both a really terrible month and a really good one. We all suffered a huge loss but I feel we really came together because of it and I am very thankful that I have the group of friends that I do. I don't know what any of us would have done without each other. I will always love you and miss you, Craig. I was extremely fortunate to have you in my life & to have the honour of being one of your closest friends, and while it hurts so much to think that I will never see you again, I know that wherever you are, you aren't sick anymore. Your absence will be felt this summer, that is for sure.
Death is such a strange thing, seriously. I think that we are all handling it pretty well, though. It's not like Craig would want us to be insane and depressed or anything, he'd be like, "fuck that, drink a Lucky", haha.

I am less than a month away from finishing school. I am almost done Math and Physics but I am going to have to work like a fuckin' cyclone to finish Chemistry on time, eek! I wrote a Math test today and I'm pretty sure I pwned it but I might have actually failed... we will see.

I went and saw Great Lake Swimmers last Tuesday... they were so good. Like, actually breathtaking? Such an amazing band. I'm thinking of picking up their new album today. Good thing I have really limited funds! Poor as shit all the time. I had a job interview at Getty Foods but stupidly told them I was moving away for school at the end of the summer so they didn't hire me. I'm going to drop off a resume at the Western Development Museum soon, maybe the guy from Sukanen ship will like me enough to hire me since he works there? Haha. I wasn't a very good Sukanen employee though... oops.

Went to Saskatoon this past weekend. Had a sleepover in Corey's basement with SMP, omg! Best time. There are only 2 weeks left until Drenchville reunites again in Moose Jaw, I am so stoked. Savannah is going to try sushi for the first time. Speaking of sushi, I am going to get some today with Megan! It is going to be so good. I spend way too much money...

Let's see... what else. I guess I am going to Medicine Hat on the 11th. I hope it is a good time. Rachel is going to be in town so it will be real nice to see her. I would say I want to hang out with Dustin but he is getting a little more insane everyday so I am kind of nervous about that? Why do I even still talk to him? Ugh.

Weakerthans this month! With the Constantines! I am excited, I have not seen them since grade 11. Show in grade 11 was super awesome though, omg. John K. Samson, marry me right away.

harbourlights @ 2009-03-10T11:21:00

2009-03-10T17:32:26Z

I have been in a real good mood lately. Ever since going to Saskatoon! It is refreshing. I'm feeling a little less stressed out about school today even though I haven't done any work to speak of. It's all going to be alright! I have tomorrow off school, so that will be sweet. I looove to sleep in.

The past few days my heater has not been working. Like, at all. Every morning the thermostat is somehow at 61 degrees, which is so effin' cold to wake up to. That is below room temperature! So chilly. I never want to get out of bed in the morning because I think I might freeze to death. Also, this morning my alarm didn't go off after I reset it so I woke up right when I had to get up (which I hate!) and I am super tired today. But all is well!

There is one thing that is sort of irritating, though. Last night I had a great night of napping and eating and veggin' out in front of the TV and oh, I don't know, not thinking about Dustin like at all for over two days? So of course the first thing that happens when I get on the computer is a little blinky box from him being like, "When are you coming to visit again? I miss you a lot lately, I've really felt a connection with you these past few days, you're really sweet blah blah". Are you serious? Come on! Of course this happened after he told me he was high on DXM. Big surprise there, have you ever even talked to me when you are sober? It's just even more irritating because of course I liked it, I'm such an idiot. I actually felt like I was getting over it for a while there, you know like actually feeling interest in other people, even! And then I was just like aw for fuck's sake. He was like "I'm going to book those days off in April and save up so I can come and see you and party with everyone" and I just said ok, sweet. Because nothing ever actually happens? So I am taking this all for what it's worth. Seriously, it is time to move on, haha. Kill me. I want to spend my time thinking about someone else for once. Someone who is doing something with their life, ugh. Ahhh well shit happens I guess.

Today my sister and I are going grocery shopping.. we haven't had any food in the house for weeeks. Then we are taking bottles in and goin' for sushi! I am stoked. I want this school day to end. I can't concentrate at all, haha.

harbourlights @ 2009-03-08T22:07:00

2009-03-09T04:15:09Z

Okay so bottom line of this blog is SMP's birthday party ruled and a little piece of my soul died every time somebody went home.

We got there at like quarter to ten and felt thoroughly awkward, but then I got drunk in a grand total of 25 minutes and proceeded to take my sweater off and hang out in all of my white T-shirted glory. To be honest I felt I could have taken better advantage of the shirt-writing opportunities but I got some good ones in. Gave Kyle and Ash some back boobs, that's really all that needed to be done. I saw Adam Blum in the flesh, best moment. Ash and I were turtles? Everyone kept leaving and pretty soon it was just a few of us in the livin' room being lolasaurus rexes. I asked Savannah to bring me a cup of water and she brought me half a mug of warm water? It was a 33% good beverage, because at least there was fluoride in it. Anyway. Decided I'm in love with Myles and we are now dating (in my heart) but he cheated on me later on in the night so I don't know what to expect from him, really. Don't talk to other girls on MSN. Ok yeah alright. Later everyone fell asleep and Savannah and I went on webcam with this rank Derek guy who is such a mass loser and laughed really hard when he said brb and actually left. Jordan came up and pretended to show a boob. Myles was watching us on webcam too he got excited. I was a flirty winking queen. I think he takes me for granted. I love Savannah's mom. I'm going to marry her uncle. I went to bed on a basement couch, it was cold but awesome. Woke up greasy as fuck and we ate cupcakes and went to Smitty's and stayed there way too late so I had to callin to work, and my boss was so sweet about it but hey now I don't work til Saturday. Great cheque that will be.

This blog is retarded but my life isn't

harbourlights @ 2009-03-06T11:50:00

2009-03-06T17:51:56Z

I think that reading this article today was a really important thing for me to do. I do think I have been getting better lately, but it's just so easy to fall back down.

I think that come the warm weather I may actually buy some clothes that aren't jeans and t-shirts.

harbourlights @ 2009-03-05T11:15:00

2009-03-05T17:16:13Z

As a side note I am listening to Interpol right now and it reminds me of the ride to Sukanen ship everyday last summer sooo much... and as boring as that job was, I kind of wish I could work there again this summer. Alas, I am not a post-secondary student. Egads.

harbourlights @ 2009-03-05T10:54:00

2009-03-05T17:04:45Z

I am actually in a super good mood today. Really, I mean yesterday I was in such a bad mood just cursin' life and totally hatin' on Lex Luthor over there on the scaffolding who is working on the lights (like I mean really the guy is pretty creepy, kind of like if Lex Luthor and Jigsaw had a baby together, but with industrial goggles on). It has been super nice out lately, I had a nice visit with my grandma today and I had a pretty good dream last night, and surprise surprise my hormones finally seem to be figuring themselves out and I vaguely feel like a normal person today! Also I finished two math units over the past two days and after I get some help today in Chem I am just going to be barrelling along, ready to take over the world! I got a little gleam of hope yesterday because this guy in my class is just starting the last chem unit and he only has a week to finish it, and he will. That gets me real stoked. I can do that if I try! I mean as much as I worry myself about things, I am pretty much a chem genius thus far.

I work tonight and I don't even hate that. I still need to find someone to take my Saturday shift though! Haha oh god, I just found out Marcy Playground is playing in Regina on March 13th... let's go. I wish I could fuuuckin drive. Soon enough! Okay I think I am good

harbourlights @ 2009-03-03T10:42:00

2009-03-03T16:46:02Z

I have come to the conclusion that the worst time to get sick is when you are on an attendance contract. Seriously, if my attendance dips below 90%, I get kicked out of the program. So, here I am in the SIAST library, and I am pretty sure that my brain is trying to kick its way out of my head? I am getting really stressed out about school lately, like I am scared I am not going to get finished on time or they are going to kick me out or something, even though I'm pretty sure neither of those things are going to happen. I hate being under pressure. I am going to have to get a move on.

I don't have anything to write about. I just want to sleep.

harbourlights @ 2009-03-01T22:02:00

2009-03-02T04:08:22Z

Weekend was boring. I worked & brushed up on my real estate skills today. Went to Deja with Jordan. I have been feeling kind of down lately. I am wearing a sweater that is too small. My house was so clean earlier that it felt like no one lived in it. I miss Craig & would like very much for him to come home. I can't believe the weekend is already over, my life is going in this huge, unappealing circle. Lately I have been looking at my relationships with people from a distance and it is sad to me that so many of them just suck, like, I can remember when I lived in Medicine Hat and thought it was so awesome but no one even talks to me anymore unless they are high. I mean, whatever. I am fortunate to mean a lot to a few people, but I could always go for meaning something to more people. I am excited for SMP's birthday party. I feel like I have been slacking in the making memories department lately; in fact, when I look back on this time a few years from now it will all seem like one big retarded blur. Make some memories w/ me. I want to go on a road trip.

every line, it brings me right back down

2009-02-23T17:08:37Z

Well, back to the ol' grindstone. Technically I guess I should probably be studying or something right now but to be completely honest I would rather die so I figured I would create some form of ... summary of my trip. I think the last time I updated was like the day after I got to BC. I don't know.

The weather was really good the whole time I was there. I am not too sure what I did on specific days, really. One night Evan, Nicole and I played a bunch of dominoes and Scattergories and then Evan and I played this drinking game called Ride the Bus that was kind of retarded, and later on we turned Scattergories into a drinking game and got pretty drunk and looked up stand up comedy on Youtube and had a good lol. The next day it was really nice out so we all went out and explored the yard. We found two deer skeletons, it was kind of creepy. I took pictures of Nicole, Evan and Jordan playing soccer. Later we all went to the Cobblestone and had a few drinks. Everyone decided to leave so Evan and I stayed for a little while and talked about future plans and then stopped by the liquor store to pick up some beer and went back to the house and watched around 2 hours of Spartacus, but then we got bored and I went to bed. This was Wednesday, I think.

Thursday I went into Nanaimo. We counted bald eagles on the way there and ended up at 11. Evan took me to the bank so I could get a new debit card and then we went to Bygone Books and I ended up buying four books. I am reading one now called The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon, which is basically about two Jewish boys creating an anti-Nazi comic book in the early 40s. I really like it so far.
I sat in the library reading while Evan and Nicole were in class and then we went to this great Mexican restaurant called Gina's for supper. I had some enchiladas and the greatest margaritas! Then we made the hour drive back to Nanaimo and hung out for a while before heading up to Jordan and Michelle's. There were snacks and Michelle made three different kinds of tea. I listened to them plan out their garden. Jordan played us a song he wrote. It was really good. Evan came up with the guitar accompaniment and Michelle and Nicole sang backup. They are a talented bunch for sure. Then we played Pictionary and the guys won, again. We ended up going back downstairs at around one but I am pretty sure we didn't do anything else after that.

Friday we all slept in and then Nicole, Michelle and I went shopping in Duncan. Michelle found a cheap chair at Liquidation World and freaked out about it so we loaded that into the back of the car and walked down to the shopping district. We went in a bunch of new-age and vintage stores and it was decent. I found some perfume wax that smells so good. I also bought a scarf for Jordan and thought about buying things for other people but I was a little strapped for cash. Then we headed to Superstore and bought a ridiculous amount of snacks. After we got back we went up to Jordan and Michelle's again and played drinking Scattergories. We all got pretty drunk and Evan and Jordan went onto the porch to smoke a huge cigar so Nicole, Michelle and I had "girl talk" haha and it was pretty sweet, good bonding time. I haven't really had a discussion like that... like ever?

On Saturday we cleaned the house because Kyle and Maria were coming. Then we adventured around the yard until they got there around three. We sat in the living room for a while and it was awkward because Maria never talks and always seems like she is mad at Kyle. We went and bought food and Evan made veggie chili and barbecued and it was awesome. We played drinking Scattergories again but Maria didn't really get it for some reason. Kyle and Evan started a fire outside while the girls stayed inside and had chips and dips. Evan was quite dismayed to find we had eaten all of the dip. Then we all sat around the fire and then Melina came home with some random girl and decided to join us but she's super annoying so Kyle, Maria and Nicole all went inside. Evan and I stayed outside and we all got baked and I mainly just tuned Melina and her friend out and stared at things. Around 2 30 Evan and I went back inside and ate the rest of the dip in the kitchen and laughed really hard for like ten minutes straight, I actually thought I was going to die. I could not stop laughing. And then Kyle woke up and was like "What the fuck was that? Bill just ripped out half of my hair!" and then we laughed really hard again.

I was super depressed to go home yesterday. I am not excited at all to work tonight. If Maxine is working tonight I am going to put in my notice with her. I don't think she would overreact like Donna would. I just want ooout of this job. Seriously!

harbourlights @ 2009-02-22T14:24:00

2009-02-22T22:24:56Z

I am on my phone in the Victoria airport and i am pretty sure i have never been less stoked to do anything than i am to go back to moose jaw right now.

Greetings from Cobble Hill

2009-02-16T22:12:02Z

I got here at around 11 30 AM on Saturday. The flights were alright. Both planes were super tiny. I sat beside a girl who was on her way to Galveston, TX. She was nervous about the flight. The man behind me was adapting Clue! the Movie, for the stage. He had the stereotypical pretentious theatre guy voice. I liked it. On the twenty-minute flight between Vancouver and Victoria I sat at the front of the plane and the flight attendant's seat was directly facing mine. It made me uncomfortable, so I pretended I was asleep.

Nicole and Evan met me at the airport and I got a good 'welcome home' hug. We took the scenic route back to Mill Bay and bought groceries, sushi and liquor. Once we got to the house there were a few hours of doing absolutely nothing. I felt restless. Evan made soup and Michelle came down to eat with us. The soup was too spicy and I couldn't finish it. Then Jordan came downstairs and he and Evan went down to the firepit to get the fire started. We loaded up on wine and beer and went and sat by the fire. At first it was a bit cold but once the fire got going it was fabulous. I couldn't help but think of how lucky I was to be there... no snow, good people, drinking outdoors in the middle of February. There was one point where we all held hands and listened to geese. I know that sounds kind of weird but to be honest I didn't even feel awkward, even though I was holding hands with my brother! It was a real experience. We saw who made the best goose noises (it was me). Around one AM Michelle and Jordan went to bed and I sat outside with Evan and Nicole for a while and then we went back inside. I finished a beer and went to bed. Woke up at 6 AM to the sound of that beautiful cat Bill wanting to go outside. I felt sick. I went back to bed until around eleven and I felt better, though I had a bit of a headache.

Yesterday Nicole went to work around 3. Evan and I went outside and we made up a game that involved kicking a soccer ball into hula hoops. It was hard. First person to get two points won. It took like half an hour. Evan won. Then we went inside and played dominoes. The rule book made no sense! We took a break to eat burritos and went back to dominoes. I don't know why we played it for so long, neither of us thought it was fun! Jordan called and told us to come up. Evan made a domino track and we videotaped him knocking it over but it didn't work. Nicole came home and studied for her midterm while Evan and I went upstairs to drink wine and play Pictionary. Despite Michelle's and my amazing efforts, Evan and Jordan won the game. All in all it was a pretty good time. Pictionary can be hard! We came back downstairs and I just chilled on the couch with my eyes closed while Evan kept thinking of more things to talk about, which to be honest was kind of irritating after a while because I wanted to sleep! The last thing he did before he went to bed was look at the stupid picture album I put up on Facebook and we had a good laugh about "fuck poor people" so after everyone was in bed and the lights were off I had a hard time falling asleep. Woke up to let the cat out again. Evan and Nicole are at school today so I have been snackin' and watching multiple episodes of CSI all day. Maybe I will head to Nanaimo tomorrow?